Q:No I haven't read anything by Anais Nin. What books are there? And I guess I call myself a slut in the same way that the LGBT community has taken on Queer and Gay as their own. If you make it yours, you take away the power of the word. Because "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me", is a flat out lie. I spent so long being called a slut, might as well make it my own. Sure I may be one, but hey, at least I know what I'm doing. Haha.
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been around so many ignorant haters and I hope that you don’t let their stupidity define who you are! You seem smart enough to know that already :)
Anais Nin has been a great inspiration to me since my teens. She was a writer, she hung out with many of the great writers and artists of her time. She was a feminist before her time and she explored life and sexuality in a way that was unheard of in the 1930’s.
I can REALLY recommend the book Henry & June!!! Anais is most famous for her published diaries and this one takes the essence out of many of them. The would be sequel to Henry & June is House of Incest, and I really recommend it as well!
When you tell someone about your feelings of wanting to end it all, many people ask the question ‘How could you?’ At these times I imagine internally you think to yourself… “why shouldn’t I?”
Borderline Personality Disorder is a lonely and isolating condition, coupled with chronic emptiness and often unresolved trauma. Life for someone with Borderline Personality Disorder is full of chaos and impulsivity, it’s hard to know where to start with the little motivation and hope you have left within. Should someone truly understand how this feels through long days and lonely nights, they may take a pause when asking: How could you want to do this to yourself?
It may be that you have started harming yourself in an effort to show the people around you what you can’t say. You don’t have any idea what they could do, but then again you equally have no idea of how to help yourself. You become frustrated with yourself and with the people who are supposed to care around you. You then go to your GP who knows very little about your condition so they refer you to a Psychiatrist. The circles begin - You think to yourself; At the time of seeing the Psychiatrist things may have got too much, you hope for a quick fix, some answers. Most of all, you hope for them to give you a little optimism that things won’t always be like this.
You explain to the Psychiatrist how you’re feeling so low, so desperate, so frustrated at yourself and others around you for not being able to help. You try to occupy yourself during the day, or you sleep through it, but then comes the night. This is the real challenge. Each minute that passes feels like hours. Everything is closed: The shops, the library, even the utility companies you call just to have someone to speak to and pass another moment. You go on to say how you took some medication last night, you know that it was more than you should have taken but you wanted it all to stop for a moment. You know you could have died, but then that would have been okay. In a strange way it offers the hope you so desperately seek, the possibility that you could be free from your hurt.
You may have been lucky and got a Psychiatrist you could see was listening and really wanted to help and they may even prescribe something to help you sleep or something to help with your low mood. Whatever they do, it won’t be enough. Once again you wanted something to make it go away now, a quick fix. On top of everything you’re feeling when you went into the appointment you’re now concerned that the Psychiatrist will think you’re ungrateful, and a time waster. What’s worse is that you’re probably right. After your appointment they feel at a loss, they feel de-skilled. They trained to help people for many years and usually the medication they prescribe works, but they know you will be back time-after-time as medication won’t fix your problems.
Everyone around you becomes distant as they all share the same despair and don’t know how to help you. At times you try your best to take the pressure off and not talk about your problems with them, you may compliment them more, buy them gifts or take them out, you will do all of this in an effort to get them back on side and supporting you as they once were. This works well for a while anyway, but then people start to label you as manipulative and attention seeking.
Now when you try to contact people who were once called your ‘Support System’, phones are switched off, people are busy, in meetings or out. When you eventually do get hold of people they may suggest, when confronted, that you’re being paranoid and displaying signs of inappropriate and intense anger. This may be one possibility but the other is that your concerns are well founded.
When you are having an intense emotion, it can be hard to know what to do. Unfortunately, many people with BPD turn to unhealthy behaviours in an attempt to cope with emotional pain (e.g., self-harm, substance use, or aggression). Want to replace unhealthy habits with new, healthier skills? Try…
I can’t fucking believe this. I really just can’t. I think the time in between sessions with my psychiatrist are just a tad bit too long so I’m going to rant on here.
“I don’t care about gender. I can be attracted to anyone.”
“I feel like a guy.” and all other conversations…
I have never really read any stories about characters with Asperger’s Disorder/Syndrome but I have a feeling a lot of my favorite characters were based off of this disorder, I have heard of what some writers call “a touch of Asperger’s” which usually appears in socially awkward hermits, so I…
“One male poet approached me after a performance and said, “I don’t mean to be rude, but do you ever write about anything other than the struggles of women?” I replied, “I don’t mean to be rude, but take your finger off the trigger and I’ll stop.” After all, who among us ever wanted to speak about these things? What little girl dreams of growing up to write ‘rape poems?’ About violence? About the muffled voices of women worldwide?” -Andrea Gibson
No one ever asks men why they write books, movies, games, TV shows, laws, text books, entire genres of media (games) without any female input or any females at all. It’s only a problem when women do it.
- Since 2006, more than 95,000 service members have been sexually assaulted in the U.S. military
- More than 86% of service members do not report their assault
- Less than five percent of all sexual assaults are put forward for prosecution, and less than a third of those cases result in imprisonment
This is exactly why I ultimately decided NOT to join the military….
Your ED will always create a ‘reason’ for you to keep the disorder and, sadly, that will often be ‘you’re not sick enough’. Don’t buy it.